I've been pensive lately. There are some really crappy things I've started believing about myself. I'm not writing this to get encouragement from someone else but to hopefully encourage a reader....
Shake the Dust
(a poem worth listening to..)
(a poem worth listening to..)
A special thanks to my beautiful niece, Alyse, the artist.
Let's be honest, blogging AND Pinterest make me feel like "I'm inadequate." With blogging, not only is fashion important but so is teaching. It's easy to see how their outfits are better, their home and classroom is more/better decorated, their home/classroom is cleaner, they're more organized, more creative, more [fill in the blank]. It's easy to compare yourself with others because their life is on display and seemingly 'picture perfect'. Let me tell you- it's bologna to feel crappy about yourself because of something you saw on the internet. I'm NOT inadequate and neither are you! Don't believe me? Check it out: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
As a student - we all get grades. It probably wouldn't surprise anyone to know I was generally an Honor Roll kid, shoot- I was an Honor Roll adult too! My brain is trained to figure those percentages and turns them into grades. Let me give you a handy reference:
1/5- 20% = F
1/5- 20% = F
2/5 - 40% = F
3/5 - 60% = D
4/5 - 80% = B
5/5 - 100% = A+
When someone tells you to strive for "passing" - well, folks, passing is 60%. Sure, it's passing but it's not the best. I LOVE 100%! I'd even settle for an 80% but inside my brain - 60% is mediocre. Mediocre. Yuck. Last week I started believing I was mediocre. Just barely average and just barely passing. If what I believe is true, and God called me to teach, then my Heavenly Father has and will equip me to do the work to which He called me. I will not believe the lies satan is feeding me and neither should you.
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
I am more than mediocre. My feedback is in the growth I see. My feedback comes from relationships. There is always room for growth and I will achieve more...
Lastly, sometimes life gets to be too much. I feel like you guys get to hear about my messy home too often for it to be entertaining. I've never been much of one for cleaning. I fully realize, no one really likes cleaning, and I'm no exception. It just seems like after I got married, the mess multiplied, had babies, and became a mess monster. It's truly not my husband's fault. At the risk of sounding like a huge baby, being an adult is hard. Working full time, having a social life, avoiding illness, taking dance class, paying bills on time, all that adult stuff- yeah. Add cleaning to that and it's always the last thing I want to do. I mean, sure, my clothes get clean but keeping the house clean and at the same time is a monumental task. It all got to be too, too much last week and I had a meltdown. I told a friend, "I thought about calling my mom and asking for help but I'm almost 30. I'm supposed to have it together!" She said, "Just because you don't have an organized house or organized classroom doesn't mean you don't have it together. It doesn't mean you're not a good person."
When I relayed the story to my mom later- she said, "Who told you that crap, Jana Faith?! You don't grow out of needing your mom. If my mom were still here, I'd want to talk to her and ask her for help." Long story short- sometimes we are allowed to ask for help. Asking for help doesn't mean you're a failure. It means you're human.
Confession: My super awesome mom came and helped me get my house clean last Saturday. It was like magic and love all wrapped up in quality time with my mom. Plus, she brought me a little bag of candy and anyone who knows me knows candy is the way to my heart.
"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11
I really do love you all and I don't want you to believe crappy stuff about yourselves. I hope there is someone in your life you can talk to and friends or family who can help you through hard times. Whether it's something simple like a dirty, messy home or something like feeling inadequate. You're enough. God's given you enough. It's okay to need help and it's more than okay to ask for help.
Get your fashion on...
Linking up with The Story Project today